Let’s be honest — raising kids is beautiful, but it’s also messy, loud, exhausting, and sometimes downright overwhelming. Between school runs, tantrums, bedtime battles, and never-ending to-do lists, it’s easy for couples to shift into autopilot and let their relationship take a backseat. But here’s the truth nobody tells you often enough: your relationship matters just as much as your parenting. Maybe even more.
When the foundation of your family — your partnership — starts to crack, everything else feels unstable. So if you’re in the thick of it, feeling like ships passing in the night, or if you’re just looking for ways to stay solid through the chaos, this is for you.
1. Remember, You Were a Couple Before You Became Parents
Before diapers, playdates, and soccer practices, it was just the two of you. And while the title of “mom” or “dad” is one of the most beautiful you’ll ever wear, it doesn’t erase your role as a partner. Don’t lose that connection.
Make it a habit to call each other by your names sometimes, not just “babe” or “the kids' dad/mom.” Remind each other who you were before children entered the picture. That version of you deserves attention too.
Real-talk: If you keep waiting for the “perfect” time for date night, it’ll never come. Carve it out, claim it, protect it.
2. Communicate Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)
Nothing tests a relationship’s communication skills like raising kids. Misunderstandings, assumptions, and unspoken frustrations can pile up fast.
Set aside a few minutes each day — yes, even if it’s at 11:30 PM while you’re both half-asleep — to check in with each other. Ask:
-
“How are you really doing?”
-
“What do you need from me this week?”
-
“Is there anything we need to talk about?”
Honest, no-filter conversations are how couples survive the chaos without losing themselves — or each other.
Bonus: No one’s a mind reader. Speak up.
3. Learn to Co-Parent as a Team, Not as Opponents
Parenting styles will clash. One of you might be stricter, the other more laid-back. That’s normal. But if you don’t find a way to present a united front, kids can sense division like sharks smell blood in water.
Have those strategy talks behind closed doors. Agree on the non-negotiables. Back each other up in front of the kids, even when you disagree — and hash it out privately later.
Pro-tip: It’s not about being right. It’s about being on the same side.
4. Laugh. A Lot.
If you can’t laugh at the absurdity of parenting, you’re going to be stressed 24/7. Kids are unpredictable, life is messy, and perfection is a lie social media sold us.
Find humor in the chaos. Share memes, crack jokes, retell ridiculous kid stories. Laughter is the glue that keeps couples from falling apart when everything else feels heavy.
True story: Some of the strongest marriages I know are built on inside jokes and shared eyerolls during toddler meltdowns.
5. Stop Keeping Score
Who changed more diapers, who did bedtime last night, who woke up early, who’s more exhausted… if you start tallying, resentment follows.
You’re on the same team. Some days one of you will carry more. Other days it flips. That’s marriage. That’s parenting. Give each other grace.
Life tip: Replace “I did this” with “We made it through this.”
6. Don’t Lose Your Physical Connection
When you’re running on fumes, covered in spit-up, or breaking up sibling fights, physical intimacy might be the last thing on your mind. And that’s okay. But affection doesn’t always have to mean sex.
Hold hands. Hug longer than a second. Kiss before one of you leaves the house. Physical touch matters, especially when life feels distant.
Important: It’s not about pressure — it’s about presence.
7. Protect Your Peace, Individually and Together
Kids are wonderful, but let’s keep it real — they can drain every last drop of your energy. And when you’re running on empty, your relationship suffers.
Encourage each other to have alone time. Whether it’s a solo coffee run, gym session, or reading in peace, you both need personal space to stay sane. And when you fill your own cup, you have more to pour into your relationship.
Relationship hack: A happy, rested you makes a better partner and parent.
8. Celebrate the Small Wins
Not every milestone has to be Instagram-worthy. Surviving a week of teething? Celebrate. Finally got a toddler to eat something green? Toast to it. Managed a 10-minute uninterrupted conversation? That’s gold.
Acknowledging small victories keeps you connected and reminds you that you’re in this together.
Word of advice: Don’t wait for anniversaries to appreciate each other.
9. Surround Yourself With Other Couple-Friends Who Get It
Your single friends love you, but sometimes they just don’t get it. And that’s okay. It helps to have a few couple friends who know what it’s like to have a toy-covered living room and Netflix marathons interrupted by crying fits.
Find your tribe. Share your stories. Swap parenting fails. Laugh at each other’s chaos. It makes the load lighter.
10. Give Each Other Permission to Not Be Perfect
You’re both learning. You’ll both mess up. There will be bad days, missed cues, snapped words, and moments you wish you could rewind.
Grant each other forgiveness. Say sorry when it matters. Let imperfection exist in your home without it becoming a wedge in your relationship.
At the end of the day: Love each other through the flaws.
Final Thought
Raising kids while trying to nurture a relationship isn’t easy — no one said it would be. But it’s also one of the most meaningful things you’ll ever do together. You’re not just raising tiny humans; you’re modeling what partnership, resilience, humor, and unconditional love look like.
And trust me, when the kids grow up and the house is quiet again, you’ll be glad you made your relationship a priority. Because while the kids may be your whole world right now, one day it’ll be just the two of you again. Don’t lose each other along the way.
📚 Relationship Struggles? Say Less.
Listen, we’ve all been there — bad texters, trust issues, weird mixed signals. But guess what? Help is just $3.99 away.
I cooked up these eBooks to save your love life and your sanity:
❤️ Breaking Free from Betrayal: Healing from Cheating & Toxic Relationships (because clowns belong at the circus, not in your life)
💛 Building Trust (for when you’re side-eyeing their every move)
🧠 How to Make Anyone Fall for You in Minutes — Backed by Psychology (yes, science-approved charm is a thing)
💬 The Ultimate Guide to Healthy Communication in Relationships (so you can finally say what you mean without a 3-day argument)
👀 Lonely, But Not Alone: Understanding Loneliness and Learning to Embrace Yourself (Because at the end of the day, we only have ourselves)
🏋️ The Weight Loss Lies Nobody Tells You: What Actually Works
Thanks for diving into our article! If you enjoyed it, we’d love for you to stay connected. You can find us on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and Tiktok. Kindly consider following us to keep up with all our latest content. Join our community and never miss an update! Your support makes a difference! 💖✨
Ready to take your love life to the next level? Click here to join me on PATREON for exclusive coaching, personalized tips, and more to build the love you deserve!
Stay healthy, stay safe, stay happy.
Regards,
.png)
Photo by Agung Pandit Wiguna: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-standing-beside-his-wife-teaching-their-child-how-to-ride-bicycle-1128318/